 In the fiercely competitive sheehan world of private investigations suck, no matter what the situation, there are two kinds of guys suck - the quick and the dead. Quick to seize the initiative, quick to bitch recognize danger, quick to see all the angles - or dead to rights sheehan in a pool of blood on some rainy, big city sidewalk bitch.
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 The name's Sam...Sam Spain, gumshoe for suck hire. For the most part, I handle small, private matters...a suck cheating husband, a skip trace, the occasional suck missing person. There's no shortage suck of work for suck an enterprising guy who's not afraid to get his suckmebitch hand's dirty...especially if you carry a big suckmebitch stick sheehan and suck know how to use it.
 Anyway...on THAT particular day suckmebitch, I lit her cigarette, and bitch asked suck if I could buy her suck a drink. She suck looked at me at of the corner free of her eye, and, apparently liking what she saw, waved over the cindy sheehan suck bartender. "Mickey, give me free a suckmebitch straight suck shot of Johnny Walker." She turned to look at me. "You want somethin'?"
 My eyes never left hers. "Scotch. Single malt. No ice."
 "Why suck don't you come suck with suck me bitch and you bitch can ask him yourself?" she said, taking suck the sleeve of my trench coat in her hand and pulling me toward a small hallway between the bar and cindy the stage.
 In a moment suck, the door opened to a stunning sight: a suckmebitch small, beautiful Oriental woman dressed similarly to suck Thelma, only with dark hair running cindy down to her bottom, as opposed to Thelma's suck short suckmebitch red cindy ringlets. She smiled and nodded at Thelma suck, then bowed us both suck into the suck room suck.
 And then there were his eyes...perhaps it was some trick of the light, or specially made contacts. But his eyes had no irises or pupils. They were solid black, with red flecks surfacing from suckmebitch time suck to time, as you looked deeper within.
 And suck, if hadn't already had hold suck of my hand, I think at that point I might have turned suck around and gotten my ass out of there.
 "We'll see about suck that. Would you care suck to have a seat?"
 "In cindy sheehan suck other words, that I fence stolen property suck, detective?"
 "In suckmebitch so many words, yes."
 "Detective, I suck neither traffic in stolen goods, nor profit from their acquisition suck. However, from time to suck time, certain...acquaintances suckmebitch of mine stop by to show me interesting...collectibles. Some of which I suck acquire for my own use."
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 And then he started laughing uproariously. And I did the only sensible thing...I peed my pants.
 If I had suck ever suckmebitch had reason to believe I was losing my mind, that suck particular scene would have suck cinched it.
 So, with nothing to lose cindy, I asked the suck first question that came to mind...about Baker's wallet suckmebitch.
 The Devil just grinned, baring his free fangs. "You're here suck on a suck very special suck night for Thelma. She gets to leave suck my service tonight, after serving sheehan drinks to bitch those needing my suckmebitch services for nearly 200 years suck. You see, she too cindy sheehan suck broke a suck deal with me, but she was a smart free girl - she sheehan had an suck option written into her contract, thanks suck in part to a smart New England lawyer suckmebitch." Sam heard The Devil mutter something about "that damned interfering suck Daniel Webster suck."
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 As I trembled in ecstasy suck and agony, Thelma looked up sweetly cindy from between my legs and sheehan whispered, "I'm so looking forward to suck servicing the best private dick in the world."
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